A Paradigm Shift Reaps Good Fruit

"Do not confirm to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will."

----Romans 12:2

Our primary social skills are shaped by our immediate family unit. We are subconsiously conditioned by our upbringing and environment. For some of us, that family unit was far from the likes of the televised sitcom, "The Cosby Show." Some of us came from families that could've easily been regular, reappearing guests on shows like Jerry Springer, Maury Povich or Judge Judy. Some of our living rooms mirrored "reality television," before it even became popular.

The surrounding walls that housed my family unit didn't look anything like the upkept, comfortable bungalow that Aunt Bea maintained on the Andy Griffith Show. Our abode had more commonalities of the Fred Sanford Show. I'm not complaining, because we never experienced much lack. We always had a surplus of things on hand. Lord forbid, somebody somewhere might need something we had, but they just never stumbled upon our steps to pick it up. I think my grandma was a "low key" hoarder. Rightfully so, she survived the brutal, harsh realities felt from the The Great Depression. Grandma was born in 1927, when baby showers and social gatherings were non existent. The norm was larger family sizes were equivalent to more farm helpers. "Survival" was way of life!

My grandmother's mother died when she was just a small child, so there weren't many memories of social bonding to recall. Her dad was a single parent and farmer that relied on his children to keep the household financially and physically sustained. In fact, my grandmother dropped out of school in the sixth grade to help farm the land. When she started her own family, grandma could only pass on what she knew. My mother's generation of siblings were birthed from that same "survival mentality." They were hard-working sharecroppers that worked the land from sunrise to sunset. When they started their families, giving rise to the fourth generation, (which included me), farming was slowly fading out.

What does all that have to do with the "paradigm shift?" It shapes the foundation of my identity. My family tree didn't include a lineage of nurturers, stay at home moms or the likes. I was a latch key kid. I came home, did my homework, cooked, and prepared for the next day (unsupervised). There weren't any bed time stories, cuddling sessions or much social interactions at all.

I had my daughter at an early age as a way of escape. I was determined to "make history!" Those ugly, filthy generational curses were sure to end with my generation. Well, that's what I thought, but I didn't realize how ill-equipped I was for motherhood. I assumed, I was smart enough to figure this "parenting" thing out. The Bible says, "Those who trust in themselves are fools, but those who walk in wisdom are kept safe." Years later,  those celibacy talks grandma had with me made more sense. As a teenage mother, I now understood the value of "wait till you're married!" I marched to the beat of my own drum, took the long route and landed smack dab on my face---plenty of times.

I didn't see a way out, I just created a bigger mess! What we see, depends on where we stand! Obviously, I stood on the quicksand of man, instead of the Word of God. Statistics indicated that my future would be destined for failure. I was a single, unwed mother that lacked education. I assumed my list of failures outweighed any possible chances of future accolades.

The devil is a lie!

I may not be where I should be, but I'm right where God needs me to be. I'd rather be used by Him than achieve any level of man made success. That's not a cop out for underachievement. I still have goals that I'm actively pursing but the difference is --I finally learned priorities! After several years of disappointments, roadblocks and stumbling blocks, I grew increasingly frustrated with God. I despised living in Rocky Mount and I've never been afraid to leave. However, each time I left, God brought me right back here. Ugh! Why?  Surely, my purpose wasn't connected to this town!

After seeking God's face, He revealed to me that this is the only place that keeps me close to Him. I wasn't too thrilled about the answer, but it was true. With my short-lived stint in Washington, DC,  I probably attended church services around two or three times out of ten months.

All of that family background to bring me to this point, I had to go through many storms to land safely on my feet. I had to encounter the grief, suffering, and pain to experience joy. Proverbs 4:23, "Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it."

My life has undergone a dramatic transformation:

I had to dig up some seeds of doubt, unbelief, and self-condemnation.

I had to rid myself of the "stinkin thinkin."

I had to lose some baggage (dead weight).

I had to silence the critic within.

I had to allow God to tear down the old & rebuild my foundation.

If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us.  ---1 John 1:8

I had to confront those sins,

dismantle the disobedience,

and starve the self-defeating behaviors.

I had to learn that FEAR cripples our growth, steals potential and enables stagnation.

I'm looking forward to all that God has for me in 2018 cause I know for certain that a paradigm shift reaps good fruit! If you aren't producing, then check the "seeds" that you're planting.

For the Spirit of God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.

I'm starting to see buds (fruit) on my vine, family. It's indeed God and "a daily dose of freedom" that keeps those buds sprouting. Pray for me, as I dig deeper in 2018.