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A Look Back-A Daily Dose of Shuga

Since relaunching this blog, I've changed names more than a dozen times. It's been "Brown Girl Inspiration," which felt too restrictive for obvious reasons. It's been "Queens for Change," which came from a vision of having a tribe of women on a mission to change the world, starting with self and focusing on health and wellness. I tried my best to keep other women, as well as myself, motivated to lose weight and become healthier but even that proved to be a struggle.

When the intital excitement wore off, the group dwindled and I struggled to keep myself on track. I didn't want others to "stumble" as a result of my struggle, so I counted it a failed attempt and moved on. I mean what happens when there's a vision without a tribe? There's just no story! Then it became "Hear My Cries," a story of redemption, to share my story as a testimony to others, but that felt too depressing! So today, it's "A Daily Dose of Shuga" which signifies a happy, childhood memorable moment for me.

I will continue to seek God on direction, without wearing your patience intentionally.  Nothing I've tried seems to gain much interest, but I gotta keep pushing. I know what God said to be true. He didn't give me the drive to help others for nothing! All this restless energy bottled up needs to be released into the atmosphere for some good and not to mention, I'm about to explode full of boredom! I can't sit around watching life pass me by. My creative juices are on overdrive. I have a message but no audience, a book with no readers and a tree without fruit, so now it's my prayer that God sees fit to use me in His desired capacity and on His timing, not mine!

All the things I've endured over the years, couldn't possibly be just for me! As I continue to identify my purpose, I pray that God continues to develop the much needed skills in me to reach others with a similar story. What did He create these hands to do? I don't have all the answers but I'm making myself available in 2017.  My clock is ticking, not for children, but I'm not getting any younger. It's do or die season! Surely, I should know by now what I'm supposed to be doing? The things I was most passionate about seem to be irrevelent in ministry, so what does that mean? It means I accept the good with the bad and allow God to continue pruning! I'm not about to die spiritually cause the doubt within supersedes the voice of God. I'll spend my time in "preparation" for my moment and won't stop till my breakthrough.

Thank God for developing my patience. I tried unsuccessfully to skip ahead of Him and connect the pieces. God, just won't moving fast enough for me. I wavered in doubt, had some unanswered questions that caused me to doubt if the "church scene" was a right fit for me. I just couldn't find a place for me. It's like I was standing in the wilderness, waiting for someone to tell me what kind of tree I was. If I didn't know, then how could expect anyone else to know? 

Anyway, I took an extended time off to find the missing pieces but they never came, so I stopped trying! I got still and became quiet. I refused to make any decisions until I knew without a shadow of doubt that I was hearing the voice of God. Since New Years Day, he's been dropping nonstop nuggets my way. I still haven't tapped fully into my purpose because there's more work to be done, but I do recognize I'm moving in the right direction. I can't tell you that the light bulb went off and I got it all figured out cause it's still trial and error but I can say that ---reflecting on my grandma's life has been my motivation. She didn't have a title inside the church walls but she lived her "ministry" out through her good works and deeds!

 My "passion" is attached to that thing that keeps me up all night, that thing that I've been groomed for my whole life.  My hands were created to serve others. I'm not a person of many spoken words but I'm an overflow of written words. I created this blog to practice and perfect my craft---maybe when the timing is right, God will pull a book or two outta me.
I shifted the direction of the blog cause no one wants to hear another woe is me story. "A Daily Dose of Shuga" comes from a reminder of a happy time in my life,  when my days consisted of being around my grandma's older friends that used to tug at my fat jaws and say, Lord chile come give your Auntie some Shuga! I used to be grossed out by their wet lips touching my checks but the warm tinglingly feeling it gave me was priceless. I pray that God allows me to recreate that feeling with each one of you. When the days seem impossible and you want to throw in the towel, I pray God gives me a word that will soothe your wounds and reassure you that you can be healed, whole, delivered, and set free by the grace and mercy of our Father. Stay tuned for your daily dose of Shuga and  know that you have been loved on and  kissed as we travel this journey together! 

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