A Daily Dose of Freedom

"You have to be odd to be number one."--Dr. Seuss             I pushed my way through the crowd on Saturday morning, to find my seven year old grandson on the bench, which vexed my spirit. It irritated me because: he has been a natural baller from the womb, he has had a ball in his hand before he could balance himself on his short legs, he loves basketball more than snack time, he has been preparing for this moment for as long as I can remember. After about twenty minutes into the game, I was distracted by the coach's constant criticism. I couldn't tell if it was from a place of passion or frustration, but it offended my spirit. I tried my best to " cheer " for the entire team, but the surrounding chaos competed for their attention. There was another game going on at the same time, which made the whistles confusing to everyone. The crowd swallowed up the gym up, so there was limited mobility. And that yelling, was a bit extreme for "...

I had all my ducks in a row and was ready to launch into the deep, but God said, "Be still!" Have you ever tried to make "moves" on your own? Ever had God grab you by the seat of your pants, when you tried to pop your own collar? When the alarm sounded and demanded my attention, they rang with conviction, "Anything outside of God will not prosper!" Duh! Christianity 101; right? Our hearts know the truth but that doesn't stop ambition from getting in a hurry. Recently, "my ambition" was benched with an unexpected intervention. My head and heart were at odds about matters that didn't bring peace. My spirit drifted into internal conflict and held on tight. God interrupted the whole production! He uncovered the scales and revealed some "soft spots." I had withheld some past emotional traumas that kept resurfacing in relationships. I refused to fully expose my vulnerabilities, which prolonged the healing process. Howe...

“We repeat what we refuse to confront.” -unknown Many years ago, I overheard a negative conversation about me that really “rocked” my world.  Flames of tension rose from my belly and saturated my temples until anger escaped my flared nostrils like gun-smoke. Emotions of hurt summoned me into a defensive confrontational posture. I submitted to flesh and shut the talk down momentarily but it continued to grow to whispers of grievances over the years. Truth is—our best attempts will never silence critics that insist on shedding light on our unhealed vulnerable places. In retrospect, I couldn’t understand why the conversation initiated such rage in me, because it didn’t contain an ounce of my reality. Later, I realized those individuals spoke their truth, not mine. They spoke of their perceptions. I was a foreign object that never fully aligned with their ideal expectations. My presence irritated them. My spirit didn’t fit into a container. They couldn...

"Every man has his secret sorrows which the world knows not; and often times we call a man cold when he is only sad." -Henry Wadsworth Longfellow I have been hiding at the foot of the cross trying to make sense of the "unpredictability" of nature. The mountains of inconceivable thought patterns, the valleys of erratic behaviors, and the swamp of illogical processes have surpassed my natural understanding. In my confused chronological (headspace) rotation, I have been the victim of a tumultuous, barren Winter. I have sprung forward as the aggressive, assailant in Spring. I have fallen back from the chaos, like the voice of reason in Fall. I have been like the unwelcomed forest fires in Summer. I have straddled the white picket, neutral fence of arbitration, full of hesitation, when the seasons don't fully align with the peace promised by the presence of moonlight. I have cycled through a clone of "cosmic vibrations" that offend my spir...

“If we don’t allow God’s truth to take up full residency in our hearts, we may learn just enough to move out of one prison into another.”-Beth Moore As I closed my eyes on the woes of yesterday, restlessness forced my eyelids back open in approximately 10 minutes flat. Typically, Autumn brings unwelcomed chaos to my nocturnal circadian rhythms, but this was different. I couldn’t rightfully claim an ounce of Seasonal Affective Disorder in this season. I wasn’t sad. I wasn’t depressed. I wasn’t hopeless. However, I felt “imprisoned” by my own thought process. Each accomplishment came with a unique set of accompanying headaches. There were unavoidable hills of real life challenges that scrolled on the scene daily. The “issues” multiplied like dirty laundry piles in an isolated corner that became an immediate eyesore each time I scanned the room searching for serenity. Clutter annoyed me. It stifled my freedom. It derailed my purpose. It turned dreams into nightmar...