A Daily Dose of Freedom

I spent a few days sulking. My seasons are cycling rapidly. Every time I fasten myself into a comfortable position, "change" grabs me by the seat of my pants and thrusts me into an unknown trajectory.  My emotions can’t keep up. The harness that houses the contents of my being disrupts my sails in exchange for anxiety. "Fear" is at the forefront and the internal tug of war grapples with my rationale. As God’s word resonates with my confused reasoning, I realize I am not my own. For two days, I have been still and quiet.  I fought hard to tally up past mistakes to reminisce on failures, but I was reminded by a onlooker that my shipwrecked heart was drifting far away from the anchor (God). Spoken words didn’t offer much comfort though. My heart was not within reach of consolation, sympathy, or words of encouragement. I continued to grieve for the losses that convinced my head--this was simply not my blooming season! The enemy’s balm soothed the wound, but it was an ev...

" But you, Lord do not be far from me. You are my strength; come quickly to help me ." - -Psalm 22:19 If I can be completely transparent, " life " has been serving me up something serious. The enemy has thrown a few sucker punches my way--not because I've been out here in these streets sowing "bad seeds." In fact, it's been more of the opposite. The more ground I've covered, the more weeds have sprouted in the cracks of my intimate space--my heart. Over the last year, I  have unselfishly poured my limited resources, endless time and whole heart into projects that have yielded no return. The more I gave, the more was required. My sacrificial labor never produced any kind of long-term satisfaction, because it came with a price. A price that I initially refused to pay but eventually compromised for comfort. The enemy fired plenty of subliminal warnings that went ignored. Somehow, I felt threatened by the bounty on my head but more afraid of...