Skip to main content

Beyond the Pit

For quite some time, my schedule has been consumed by grunt work. I've been burning the candles at both ends, striving to divide my attention between several unfinished projects, which means mediocre strides, due to my lack of full attention in each capacity.

On yesterday, I reached out to a family member for a quick rant, exhaustion had crept in once again, and I couldn't meet the current demands of academic deadlines. Between the synergistic collapse of my physical and emotional well-being, I decided to take an "L." I failed to produce, because I felt crushed under the slew of silent challenges that played softly in the background.

I wrestled immensely with the weight of  defeat. Somehow, I kept finding myself trapped in a twilight zone of dysfunction. I insisted on casting my pearls before swine. My default settings kept pulling me--packed for the pit of people pleasing, rejection issues, and bound by the yokes of perfectionism.

I secretly coveted perfection. I wanted my journey to be free from bumps, bruises and bends. I wanted my path to be linear, without curves, speed bumps, and detours. I wanted to win without the attached stress.

How ironic? When God grants us freedom, we retreat intuitively back to the pit.

 My flesh seemed to adore the pit. It was seclusion, my place of refuge when I refused to show up. It was confinement, the place where other imprisoned souls understood the rhythm of my thoughts without articulation. It was the dark place that lacked mirrors, where I intimately dressed in the garments of  self-sabotaging behaviors without guilt.

However, I wasn't out of God's reach, he kept shining light and exposing darkness. Actually, I realize that I've outgrown the pit. The space is too small. It stinks! It houses toxins that produce irritants to abort my spiritual pregnancy.

What pits have you allowed to house your fear, hide your truth, and hinder your purpose?

 "And He also spoke a parable to them: "A blind man cannot guide a blind man, can he? Will they not both fall into a pit?" Luke 6:39

 Rise up out the pit and lead other prisoners out of darkness. Show them evidence of how you set your bed of freedom on fire but still came out unscathed by the flames and don't smell of smoke. Let the testimony of how you overcame, set others free.










Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Broken Covenant

Once upon a time— I wanted to believe something was real so desperately that I silenced the Spirit within me just to keep the illusion alive. I saw every red flag— not as warnings, but as tests of how much  I was willing to endure to feel chosen. I asked no questions because truth was already whispering, and I feared what obedience would cost me. So I made a covenant with denial— calling lies “grace,” and confusion “patience,” because the truth felt too vast, too holy, too disruptive to the future I had built in my mind. I clung to potential like it was promise, and mistook absence for peace. Yet the weight of it— this thing I called love— crushed my spirit daily. Still, desperation dressed itself as loyalty and convinced me to stay. And it didn’t get better. It decayed. Quietly at first… then unmistakably. Each time God unveiled truth, I chose the comfort of shadows over the calling of light. I pleaded. I prayed. I begged— not for revelation, but for permission to remain where I w...
Post a Comment
Read more

From Chaos to Calm

After a while… the need to be heard at full volume begins to dissolve. The rooftops grow silent. The flames you once fed with trembling hands no longer feel like power— only exhaustion. What you burned never built a home. And somewhere along the way, you realize— not every echo returns, not every seed takes root, not every mountain was yours to climb. The grace you poured out like water in a desert, the love you offered with open, unguarded hands— it did not come back the way you imagined. And still… you are here. So instead of fighting what refuses to bend, you loosen your grip. Not in defeat— but in awakening. You release the need to be answered, to be chosen, to be understood by those who never learned your language. Your hands, once reaching outward, begin to rise— not in desperation, but in devotion. Upward. Open. Steady. God… I see You now in the quiet I once avoided. I hear You not in the thunder— but in the space where my striving used to live. And I am ready. Something within ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Do Not Resuscitate (DNR)

What unsettles me most about some people is not the harm they cause— but the silence that follows it. No conviction. No trembling. No evidence that a soul was ever stirred. As if something sacred once lived there… and quietly left. What remains is form without fire. A body that breathes, but does not  feel . A Walking corpse. Spiritually vacant,  yet socially skilled— fluent in imitation, but foreign to truth. They move through people like weather— touching everything, anchoring nowhere. I once mistook that emptiness for mystery. Confused detachment with depth. Thought restraint was discipline, when it was really disconnection. But there was  no rootedness in him— only appetite. An endless hunger dressed as desire. A man grazing on bodies, scrolling through souls like they were disposable moments. Not searching. Not building. Just consuming— to quiet something unnamed within him. Unhealed wounds don’t stay still. They wander. From bed to bed, from face to face, from high ...
Post a Comment
Read more