I've always been a "dreamer" my entire life. I assumed; mainly because, I eagerly jumped onto the pages of books. It was fairly easy to become one with the characters because I've always longed for something that I'd never seen. Books provided the much needed means of escape from the realities of the everyday world.
Then God started to speak to me in dreams. I'm not suggesting that he showed me natural disasters before they occurred, but he showed me things about others, as well as myself. Many times, I attempted to ignore the warnings and gave situations the benefit of the doubt, but I secretly knew God was right all along. I took plenty of unnecessary chances and proceeded with caution but fell in the trap of disappointment every time. I guess I was a lot like David. Sometimes you can share your visions with the wrong people and they will throw you in the pit. Sometimes it's best to guard those dreams closer to your heart. Even though you want to believe the very best of others, God will always expose their heart. One thing I've learned the hard way, you can't fake compassion. You know if people are being genuine.
Anytime the energy is off in an environment, I literally feel physically ill. There are plenty of times that I had to abruptly grab my things & proceed to the nearest exit. I left those places in a hurry, feeling nauseous without knowing why. If I feel out of place, then it's safe to assume that the atmosphere is not appropriate for my presence. God sends the warnings and there's always trouble, if I don't take heed. Anytime I chose to defy the warnings & dismiss those feelings, God would show me strange things that would scare me. I won't go into those details because people will assume that I'm crazy. However those with a prophetic gift will understand.
Lately, God has been sending numerous mind-blowing epiphanies concerning matters that seemed relatively small to me. Everyday, minor things sent the heaviest convictions. Then it felt like, I was recycling old emotions. I replayed things I'd already seen. If you're weirded out, just imagine how I feel? Some may think it's a gift but it feels like a curse,. I'm learning more that I have to safeguard my heart and I can't expose myself to certain situations. I guess that's why I like to play the background. I don't like to call attention to myself. Even writing this blog was a God ordained assignment that many don't understand. Some feel that I'm brave, sharing this much information but I'm only operating out of obedience to God. There's been a few moments when I've wrote out of the flesh about hurts and disappointments but He's always sent conviction that led to heartfelt repentance.
Anyway after running from several places and people, I realize I was trying to run from those inner thoughts. I didn't like what I experienced within. I blamed everything outside of me but it was an inner issue that I didn't understand. I didn't like feeling awkward and out of place. I preferred to slip in the backdoor and anonymously make a quiet exit out the side, pretending that I'd never been present.
Life has been very different these days and it's not always welcomed with excitement. My first instinct is to fade quietly into the background. I've witnessed some adverse reactions to my presence. Although some have been phenomenal but others not so much. I smile and go with the flow. My intentions are to always be cordial and never react out of the flesh. Trust me, I've had some slip-ups but I try to remain more mindful.
I guess God is preparing my heart for what is to come.
At some point in life, you gotta stop retreating to old, comfortable ways and embrace the new.
It’s time to move from the “invisible dreamer” to the harvest God is preparing.
It’s time to move from the pit to the palace.
It’s time to enjoy the manifestations that are on the way.
Trust the process.
God knows exactly what He is doing.
He will guide you in the right direction.
BE STILL & WAIT!
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