Hoarder Mentality-LET IT GO!

"Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal; but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." --Matthew 6:19-21


I come from a tribe of strong, independent women that literally had to make a "dollar out of fifteen cents." There was barely enough to go around, but God always made the necessary provisions. The lights were never disconnected. I never went to bed hungry. There were never any holes in my shoes, even though they were hand-me-downs. Although we never went without, the "spirit of lack" became embedded into our families' DNA.

My grandma has always clinged to "stuff!" She never threw anything away because (in her mind) there was someone out there who needed it (the stuff). The problem was- the more she donated to others, the more she collected. Being a woman that survived the Great Depression, I now understand her "need" to hold on to things.  She was unknowingly storing up possessions for a "rainy day!" It was those little proactive measures that always kept the family prepared for the unexpected! It was her "old-fashioned savings plan," without putting money in the bank.

She passed this "rainy day savings plan" down to her children, including my mom. Although my mom lives in a middle-class neighborhood, I jokingly refer to her house as the modern-day "Fred Sanford" head quarters. I don't think there's an empty place on her wall and every square footage is occupied by some antique treasure. She's a modern day collector, thrifter & crafter tied into one.  Don't get me wrong, her house is nothing close to being classified as a hoarder, but it could use some serious down-sizing. I tease her with jokes about---changing neighborhoods, but remaining country, within the city limits!

Somehow, I thought I was different, cause surely "the self-help" guru wasn't holding on to any clutter. Clutter gave me anxiety. It made me feel overwhelmed and unorganized. It could never become my way of life, cause I'm not a fan of what-nots, dust collectors or keepsakes. Clearly, I was the exact opposite of my mom (I thought), until my daughter busted my bubble with her own theory. She sat at my vanity, while playing in makeup and called me a hoarder! Of course, I brushed it off, because I knew she was trying to gain a reaction, in order to score some free products. She went on to say that I was a hoarder of clothes, shoes, hair products and cosmetics. I looked around at the "organized clutter" in disbelief! Was I really a hoarder or just overly passionate about a few too many things?  As soon as that restless energy kicked into "overdrive," I needed a brain dumping exercise to further explore these unmerited observations. I did what I do best---started another purge!

I opened the closets, drawers and storage bins and got busy! I immediately made sell, donate and trash piles, cause it was no way that I was dragging anything unnecessary into the New Year. I couldn't believe how much "stuff," I'd actually been holding onto, but for what? Most times, my routine consisted of putting a select few favorites into heavy rotation. All else, I realized was being wasted.  I felt ashamed that I owned over 200 pair of shoes, over 100 tubes of lipstick, over 300 bottles of nail polish, a whole storage cabinet of hair products that nearly reached  the ceiling. I'm not bragging or boasting because I was totally disguised! This was not my grandma's homemade "rainy day fund." This was greed, lust and covetousness of "things!"  This was evidence of a sinful lifestyle in an attempt to feel good, but in actuality, these things didn't make me feel any better. I still struggled with low self-esteem, despite the things. I still looked around the room and all I could see was "lack!" This still wasn't enough. I still looked in the closet but had nothing to wear---an excuse to buy more. Obviously, my needs weren't being met by things. I was too busy looking for the next emotional high---a clearance rack, thrift store or a hot coupon/discount/savings. It didn't matter, all I saw was dollars saved not spent! Little did I know, the "lack spirit" had took root in me too! There was never enough! My closet was overflowing, but it didn't look filled to capacity to me. I could always squeeze more in it.

The funny thing about life is--we try our hardest to escape self-defeating mindsets on the "surface level," while refusing to see what we have truly become. In my mind, I was not my mom. I didn't have any clutter cause "my things" were useful possessions, not dust collectors. I had to ask myself some freeing questions....

Were these "things" necessary to fulfill my God-given purpose?
Were these things the "fruit" that I'd been looking for?
Were  these things satisfying my spirit? (Absolutely not!)

 So when January 1st came in and God said, "PURGE!" I didn't have all the answers at first, but the pieces are slowly coming together. We think "deliverance" is a one step fix, but it's a process!  I'm not saying, you can't wake up---freed from something--- cause that depends on God's will,  but what I'm saying is "deliverance" is not a one size fit all, its tailor made. There are somethings you can walk away from cold turkey, but then there are other things, that you wean or taper off slowly. It's not about the speed but the endurance! It's all apart of His plan, His grace and His favor!

People that I encounter on an "intimate level" say that I'm carrying my baby (unpublished book) way pass full term. That I have a message within that I have yet to tap into. Apart of me laughs at the thought, but then I'm quickly reminded of Sarah and God's promise to her.  My dignified response to others is --God gives me instructions, lessons and thoughts in pieces. I never get the story in a timely chronological order, but I praise God anyway, cause I know that I can't but He can. Nope, I'm not birthing any Ishmael's here!

What has your attention in 2017?
What are your treasures?
Where are your treasures stored?

Get rid of that hoarder mentality!

Stop holding onto things that God didn't ordain you to carry, whether it be in the natural or spiritual---LET IT GO!!!!!