A Christmas Miracle

"He is the one you praise; he is your God, who performed for you those great and awesome wonders you saw with your own eyes."

--Deuteronomy 10:21

I didn't have any formal plans carved out of my schedule for the holiday season. I would go with the "flow" of things, even if that consisted of me, being chained to the couch all day. I attended several Christmas gatherings, with various groups, so I didn't feel neglected. For the first time ever, my social calendar was booked solid! At every function, there were mountains of baked goodies. Those little, red festive plates were filled to capacity. I mindlessly, gorged on a massive influx of sugar and carbs--not one calorie tracked for the holiday. My "extroverted side" slipped out on several occasions. I laughed at every joke, even made some of my own, but my spirit remained heavy. I knew something was missing, but I was almost afraid to ask God. I secretly feared the revelation might send me into a deep, downward spiral for the remainder of the year. I wasn't about to dig up any old graves, so I ignored the tugging on my spirit.

Maybe it was just the residue of some "dead weight" falling by the wayside.

Maybe, I was secretly grieving all the dramatic changes that took place.

Maybe there were some unresolved, inner issues that went ignored.

At first, I plain ole refused to yield to the inclinations. I was having too much fun to let the enemy steal my joy. I fell for that same nonsense too many times before. I was mature now and I wouldn't let the devil have a foothold in my doorway. It didn't bother me that my back was still hurting, even though my load was much lighter. I assumed some "pains "were necessary to prove that I was still breathing. I mean to be without pain, was just unheard of. I couldn't imagine life without pain! Hmm, I wonder why?

The more I tried to escape that gnawing feeling, the stronger it grew.  I already knew what was bothering me, yet maybe, ignoring it would make it go away!

I had been having the time of my life with friends, but I wanted to share that same type of excitement with my biological family. I grieved for the distance that grew between us. I felt burdened by the senseless feuds. I saw my grandmother's face growing weary by the effects of Alzheimer's Disease, and I wanted her to feel the presence of God's love under the same roof. I wanted this to be the best possible Christmas for her. It would take an act of God to pull off what I was thinking!

I could hear my friend, Hannah whisper some simple but mind-blowing epiphanies in my ear. She was one of my "covenant accountabily sisters." She wouldn't dare allow me to run from a challenge, even if she had to physically restrain me. Her physical frame was of small statue but it carried great spiritual weight. She was an intercessor that you just couldn't avoid. She took her God-given assignment to heart. She would find you, hiding underneath a rock in the middle of the wilderness, with her prayers. You would come out of hiding, one way or another! She was unstoppable! She didn't need a magnifying glass, because she had the Holy Spirit on her side. She refused to relinquish her God-given power to the the enemy. She stayed up plenty of nights, praying for the ones that others overlooked. Her presence was felt, even in her physical absence. She carried her ministry in her belly and her words birthed seeds undetected with the naked eye.

Hannah asked me one day, "Where is your daughter?" I ignored the question. I meant she wasn't lost or anything. I never abandoned her, so what was the meaning of the question? We didn't have the best relationship but surely, Hannah already knew that. I brushed the question off and changed the subject, without answering. I didn't get the significance or it's relevance, but the question still lingered in the back of my mind. Obviously, people knew where my passion resided, based on the way I lit up when talking about things/people. Everyone knew my grandson, before they even laid eyes on  him, due to the "unfiltered funnies" I shared about him. I'm sure, they knew of my mother's sarcastic sense of humor, as well, but I didn't talk much about my daughter. I guess, it was too painful. Maybe, it was the unhealed wound.  The pink elephant in the room that I desperately tried to ignore. Talking about our strained relationship was like pouring salt on an open wound. I guarded that like Fort Knox. It simply wasn't up for discussion.

Anyway, I'm sure you think I'm rambling off topic by now, but I assure you this all ties into the "Christmas miracle," my family experienced first-hand on Christmas morning.

God dropped something abstract on me.  He said, "The spirit of reconciliation is near!" I already knew what He meant but I had no clue to where to begin. I stepped out on complete faith and collaborated with God to turn a valley experience into a mountain top view. With absolutely no prior planning or budget, God bought the vision to pass. He preordained his birthday, as the day, for my family to experience the miracle.

As I made preparations, doubts kicked in. I imagined "everything" that could go wrong. I wanted the day to be perfect, but I wasn't in control! God had already prepared the table, He just needed me to yield to His voice. I approached the situation very carefully, every step of the way. I put flesh, judgments and prejudices to the side. Every time an ounce of doubt kicked in, a family member reminded me that miracles take place at Christmas. The irony of that alone was God's way of providing reassurance.

Christmas Eve, I spent the night at my daughter's new apartment in Raleigh. God did a new thing for us. We made new memories. We dressed in Christmas pajamas, laughed, took horrible selfies, and baked cookies. I prepared for our First Family Breakfast/Brunch.

So many times, we think people need to see the "Jesus" in us, by quoting Bible Scriptures, pointing out sins or trying to drag them along our spiritual journey. We condemn their sins with prejudice, before we introduce them to the loving & forgiving God.  We forget that we have been in those same shoes. We have settled for less in the world. We have travelled around the same mountain in the wilderness. We have operated in our own abilities unsuccessfully. We have made mistakes. We've taken the scenic route more than a time or two. We've missed the mark on several occasions but God never dropped us.

On Christmas morning, I watched my immediate family, assemble under the same roof to fellowship with lots of food and fun. Indeed, old things were passed away.

I worried about pulling it together last minute without planning.

I worried about running out of food.

I worried about who might not show up.

However, God exceed every expectation! We had more than enough of everything! Most importantly, we witnessed God's presence by the restoration that filled the room.

Hugs were exchanged.

Differences were put to the side.

We played games.

We laughed.

We loved.

God performed the impossible; my heart was so overjoyed. When I went to say the blessing, I think I blessed everything but the food ,cause my spirit was overwhelmed. I was in awe of His miracle. Christmas 2017 was a monumental experience. God gave us beauty for our ashes. We lost my first cousin a few days before Christmas, but God restored a hopeless, family.

"In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven."

--Matthew 5:16