Take Me To The Water

I “guess” it’s ok to post this at this hour. I mean it is “technically” a new day; right?🙈🙏🏽 Brace yourself, it’s very lengthy.🤭

“Take Me To The Water”

I don’t think I’ve ever understood “the big picture” of (1 Corinthians 3:6) until this moment. It reads, “I planted, Apollos watered, but God gave the increase.

No, I’m not a “babe in Christ,” so I get the literal meaning. I know some plant the seed, some water but God gives the increase. I get it but never realized it’s significance. Yes, I “process” things differently in my little complicated head. Sometimes, I want to make things more difficult than they need to be. If it ain’t all complex; sometimes I can’t relate. I like to dissect things! Pull them to shreds & chew on it for awhile. Yes, I’m a little extreme, even with my emotions. I either feel everything at once or nothing at all! I’m either digging in the valley or shouting from the mountaintop, very few in-between moments. Haven’t quite mastered this “balance” thing yet!

However, God has been dropping “life changing revelation” my way—back to back. He literally has been slapping me upside the head. Things I’ve never considered or weren’t paying much attention to has shown back up as “mind-blowing epiphanies.”

In fact, I’ve been thinking a lot about my spiritual journey & how I know it’s been an ordained faith walk indeed. Timing is everything! (Not mine but his). I recall sitting in a revival years ago, hearing a Pastor preach, “Take Up Your Bed & Walk.” She was standing before me, preaching my life in a sermon, like she tore the page out of my invisible life book. I mean, I literally lived by the pool my entire life, not for just 38 years. It was my permanent residence; although, my hidden plea was for someone to come along & put me in the water. I was the man at the Pool of Bethesda that she was preaching about. It was definitely past time for me to walk but I forgot how, after being stagnant (crippled) for so long.

Anyway, after that night, I just knew I had been fully healed & experienced a major breakthrough. It was my “own personal revival” taking place in my heart, but I didn’t realize the enemy was plotting my downfall. A few months later, I picked up something that I just knew I was freed of. I was so angry, disappointed & frustrated.

At this point, I didn’t know how to “process” these emotions spiritually; so I ran again. God placed it on my heart to get a mentor, but that was like admitting a problem, a public declaration of weakness. I never wanted to appear needy, clingy or like a charity case. My “ego” was too big to admit that I needed help; so I suffered in Egypt, like the Israelites wandering for forty years. I kept going around the same mountain because God was tugging & I wouldn’t bulge. I couldn’t “outrun” God though.

He started to speak to me through vivid dreams but I considered them nightmares. I was just plain ole scared! The more I heard him call, the further away I ran. Please know, he was not “calling” me to preach, minister or hold an official position in the church, but he was calling me to rededicate my life back to him. I was horrified. What if I disappointed him? Yes, I know all the politically, correct biblical answers to that but this was for real. This was my life & I won’t playing so I ran once again....well, until recently! God caught up with me again & summoned me to “be still!”

Then, I had a life changing encounter during a group session that was real, up close & personal for me. Someone posed a question to the group about struggling with receiving God’s love. That was me, so I raised my hand (in all honesty). After that, everything she said sounded like “Charley Brown’s school teacher” but I chimed back in when she uttered something about....”you will know that you know without a shadow of doubt.” I heard that statement “replay” a thousand times. I knew God was tugging again. By now, I was a professional runner, ready to sprint but God had a plan bigger than I could ever imagine.

(This was extremely hard for me to share, cause I’m sailing way out of my comfort zone, being this transparent. I was definitely going to sit on this one). Long story short, I stopped running & made the decision to be baptized again. Why was that so hard to say? Cause it comes with a-lot of accountability, not to man but God. I preferred to hide out & have him keep looking for me, but I know I can’t hide from him. It’s surreal, for sure but I stopped running!

I’ve been thinking about all the wonderful women that sowed the seed, the ones that watered & now God is sending the increase. All of them have played a significant part in my life. Some don’t even know, but I thank God our paths crossed. It helped shape my desire to grow closer to him. It helped me to learn not to “waver in faith” at every passing storm. It taught me that he has been with me through every trial, loss & hardship. I pray that they are proud to share this moment with me, even from afar.

I said all that to say—-for the first time in a long time...”I’m launching out into the deep!”

From my real life experience, I leave you with this-(Acts 22:16) And now what are you waiting for? Get up, be baptized and wash your sins away, calling on his name.

I don’t know what my future holds but I’m walking towards his fullness, not sprinting in the opposite direction. I hear you calling, Lord & I’m excited to obey.

Keep me in your prayers, family, as I continue to transform. Humbly, one day at a time...one step at a time.

Blessings & Love.