Crying on the Inside

But Ruth replied, "Don't urge me to leave you or turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God." Ruth 1:16

Our hands will NEVER depart.

I've made some mistakes along the way. Drug my feet through the mud a time or two. Pitched a tent in the wilderness and camped out longer than anticipated. Fell off the mountain top of life's unexpected. Laid by the pool helplessly. Cast my pearls before swine.

But one thing, I've never done is Q-U-I-T!

Today, I asked God to purge the residue of sadness lingering from the pit of my belly that contains an overwhelming amount of grief from the losses, transitions, and seasonal changes over the past few months. The inevitable is near and I'm not putting up a fight, but I realize the only thing that is keeping me from collapsing is the prayers of the ones that rally around me.

As I watched my grandma wrestle with unrest once again, I crawled into bed and snuggled up closely to her stiff, cold body. I held her in my arms and cried tears of release. I needed to release her from the selfish clutches of my hands that pleaded with God for her to stay longer, without acknowledging His will.

On today, I released her from my hands into the Most High. My grief stricken mouth couldn't even articulate a prayer of comfort, but the Holy Spirit lead me to Psalm 23. As I sat in the recliner next to her, I read it aloud and played some soft worship music. She mumbled a few things that I didn't understand, so I went back into the next room. I thought my presence added to her discomfort and restlessness, so I went into the nearby room and sat in complete silence.

All of a sudden, I heard my grandma loudly say, "The LORD is my shepherd: I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures." Then she would venture off a bit and pick back up again.

When I tell you that God is R-E-A-L, please believe me! He shook my nest with signs and wonders!

I truly thank God for my Naomi tribe that loved me unconditionally. Each one nurtured my insecurities, validated my strengths, and accepted me with open arms.

Mrs. Fannie taught me the importance of loving with my whole heart, despite the band-aides I wrapped it in.

Mrs." G" taught me that showing up is more than enough.


My grandma has taught me compassion, resiliency, and laid the foundation that shaped my faith.

Despite all the bad that takes place, our bonds remind me of all that is good!

"In my distress, I called to the LORD; I cried to my God for help. From his temple he heard my voice; my cry came before him, into his ears." Psalm 18:6

Rally around your tribe.
Show up for people.
LOVE like tomorrow is not promised.