His Perfect Timing

"a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace." -Ecclesiastes 3:6-8

My cousin promised the boys an early morning pool run which gave me some quiet time. Overhearing their excitement made my heart smile. It didn't take much to get their little, overactive, rambunctious engines roaring. All of a sudden, the minor inconveniences proved to be worth every minute of sacrifice. I loved seeing others happy! It filled my cup.

I dragged my feet to the lobby for breakfast and immediately got swallowed up by the crowd. I desperately needed to "recharge my battery" from the prior full day of cramming on last minute homework assignments.

I decided to" pause" and enjoy breakfast outdoors on the patio until the rain forced me back indoors. My feet longed to feel the sand beneath my toes one last time but the rain provided an immediate reality check. I felt tension swelling, my heart was torn between staying and leaving.

Responsibilities echoed from afar that forced me back down 95 South; but somehow, it felt like I was travelling backwards. The familiar landmarks didn't seem to align with my destiny. My abundance felt like an overhead "smoke screen" fading into clouds of disappointments. My flight felt like it had been cancelled in mid air.

The migraines, the anxiety, and the stress was actually "grief" in disguise. I mourned because my hands couldn't "fix" what was broken-- my loved ones' hearts. The overwhelming needs magnified my shortcomings. I was not the Messiah nor did I need to be. He had already paid the price on the cross, so it was time for me to stop trying to "hang myself" there for others.

One single teardrop brought forth such revelation: Stop setting yourself on fire to accommodate those who refuse to acknowledge" the light/freedom" that is available.

God has me in a "maintenance season" of pruning and uprooting. It doesn't feel good, but it's quite necessary!

What have you been "dragging" around that God has asked you to let go?
What are you "harboring" that inhibts your peace?
What are you" allowing" to drain your well?