Wounded Warrior

"But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed." --Isaiah 53:5

When I recently got drafted to facilitate a lesson on "The Process" at a Woman’s Bible Study group, I was a little disgruntled. Give me a topic that I’ve already mastered and let me hit the ground running. Give me the reins to lead a group discussion from a place of victory but don’t put me in a vulnerable position to expose my weakness. I felt destined to fail but God had other plans little did I know.

As I’ve stated many of times, my struggle has always been "middle ground!" I’m either dragging my feet in the valley or doing handstands on the mountaintop. However, lately I’ve been sprinting around the same mountain--complacent, unsatisfied and annoyed.

I sat distressed, mourning and crying out to God like Paul with a "secret thorn" in my flesh.

During the group discussion, I unveiled the wound, undressed the pain and uncovered my truth by allowing the Holy Spirit complete dominion over my insecurities. Once I started talking, I felt like a "well of freedom" replenished everything that I released.

It was done.

The yoke was destroyed.

The bondage shifted to freedom.

When I initially walked in the room, my heart, in one hand but my sword in the other. I was not coming for sympathy or pats on the head. Despite my struggles, I refused to be pitiful! I knew how to stand flat footed, shoulders squared back and look the enemy directly in his face without flinching. I’m only stood 5 feet 2 inches in physical stature but I was trained for combat. Growing up as an only child, I learned how to defend myself many years ago and I wasn’t scared to fight either. The only problem was that nobody loved me enough to point out that I was fighting with the wrong weapons.

I knew all about the helmet of salvation, the breastplate of righteousness, the shield of faith, the belt of truth, the sword of the spirit, and the shoes of the gospel. However I was taught at an early age that if somebody hit you, that you hit them back. So here I was now--an adult trying to fight "flesh with flesh!" And yet, wondered why I was still losing?

That "thing" that you are secretly at war with is not the root of your pain. It’s time to take your hands off of it because over analyzing causes you to climb walls that just don’t exist. Let go of the invisible rivalry that takes up permanent residence in your space that screams, "this can’t be conquered." It’s covered by the blood! Self-condemnation is a trick of the enemy to keep you distracted from the greatness that already lies within. 

 "For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places." --Ephesians 6:12

He already paid the price.

The battle has already been won.

All you have to do is--walk in it (FREEDOM).