"Do you not know that you are God's temple and that God's Spirit dwells in you? If anyone destroys God's temple, God will destroy him. For God's temple is holy, and you are that temple."
--1 Corinthians 3:16-17 (ESV)
Last week, I couldn't seem to shake a
dormant sense of heaviness. I wasn't in a
chronic state of worry, but there wasn't much
genuine peace either. In the back of my mind, there was something missing that I couldn't put my finger on. I grew increasingly frustrated because I'm typically, pretty much disciplined regarding goals. However, I couldn't put one foot in front of the other to save my life. I knew it was a
practical step that I was overthinking but it didn't make the process proceed any easier.
Normally,
restless energy sends me into a "
whirlwind of new projects" but my plate was full. I didn't have room to take on anything else, because I made some firm commitments that I was determined to see through without much distraction. To be honest, "my brain" felt like it was running out of room. I wasn't using what was already stored, to some degree. (lol)
I didn't realize God was already working behind the scenes. I met with a friend to discuss some potential writing projects, over coffee, and our conversation turned into a mini health and well-being seminar. As she talked about the research she had done, the
light bulb in my brain went off. I knew what she was talking about because I lived it! I needed the warm, friendly reminder. As she sat across from me, dressed in athletic gear, my spirit was troubled. What was my real reason for the
continued disobedience through lack of action?
When I meet with my mentor, my mind was on
overload. I couldn't form a complete thought, let alone a complete sentence. Everything that I proceeded to say aloud,
God interrupted. I was incoherent, my words didn't make much sense. Every word that departed from my lips was wasted energy! It just wasn't that important. I was trying to hold onto to places, things, and people that weren't assigned to go the distance with me. My heart wanted to mourn the process of
elimination but my head was fighting back with the ounce of sense I had remaining. I've always had an innovative, spirit but I didn't realize how deeply rooted my attraction to tradition had become. I didn't like repetition, but I wasn't too fond of change either. Wait! What? The
self-
help guru had finally come to the end of herself. This season of my life required a
mandatory sifting of outdated principles that no longer served present-day purpose.
As I drove away from the second meeting, I felt that I had taken advantage of this appointment with useless excuses. Once my words landed in the air, they appeared like a stench of stale cigarette smoke. Physically, I kept choking, like I was in a crowded room of dust mites that sent my allergies into overdrive.
I was the problem! I became so comfortable losing that I didn't recognize what
winning looked like. My
focus was drowning in the despair ditch. I kept climbing up but slid right back down the muddy slope.
I needed a guided meditation activity to dump the "
mental junk" I was carrying. I slipped the CD in that I received from my mentor. At first, the title didn't speak directly to my spirit. I was like, great, another assignment! As Pastor Brady started teaching, I promise God took the drivers seat, cause I don't remember if the light was green and didn't notice that I was sitting outside in my aunt's driveway already. Her words were giving me new life!
As I sat at my aunt's dinner table to eat, I couldn't put my friend's manuscript down. I read twenty five pages before I realized my food was getting cold. God definitely orchestrated these encounters. My spirit was bubbling over. I needed to deal with me! The excuses sounded like a broken record and I was getting on my own nerves. God sealed his work with, "It is finished. I've already done my part!"
"Do not cast away your confidence, which has great reward." --Hebrews 10:35 (NKJV)
I planned to spend the weekend, knocking out the manuscript and starting on some projects but I got distracted by family obligations. I was a little annoyed, because I already struggle with time management, so "strategic planning" was at the top of my goal list for 2018. My daily planner was becoming a challenge because planning my time was becoming a burden. My
on-
call schedule kept shifting me from scheduled
personal commitments to
random mandatory obligations. No wonder, I suffered from Chronic Fatigue, and "
balance" was an ongoing weakness.
On the way to the gym this morning, God shifted my mindset into "
bootcamp mode!" I couldn't afford to give anymore of my time or attention to other people's issues. I was physically drowning, trying to
save everyone else. Yes, God was my lifeline, but I was swimming backwards in the wrong direction. Every time I got closer to the finish line, I kept turning back around trying to help distressed faces from getting untangled in the enemy's same trap. I no longer felt my age. I felt much older. I was physically tired of being mentally tired!
God referred me back to the CD that my mentor gave me. When I popped it back in, I heard Pastor Sheryl Brady say, "
You are the gatekeeper of your mind!" Wow! In all my understanding, I hadn't thought of that, practically. I wanted to travel back to all these intellectual concepts drawn out by Stephen Covey in the, "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People." I wasted time, trying to make it into a complicated prioritization matrix.
My "help" was in the Word, not the world. (Finally, dumps "self-help" books!)
Last night, as I participated in a self-actualization quiz in my Be Intentional Online Class, I realized an
uncomfortable truth. Being passion driven will not deliver the desired results without perseverance. Are you checking in for you or everyone else?
Honor God with your continued commitment of time to self-development and personal growth.
Dedicate His promises to your purpose! Align your spirit with His word.
"Passion and perseverance applied to the priorities and the goals that YOU say are vital to you being smack dab in the middle of God's will and becoming all that He has ordained you to be for HIS glory." ---Pastor Keisha Spivey
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