I spent a few days sulking. My seasons are cycling rapidly. Every time I fasten myself into a comfortable position, "change" grabs me by the seat of my pants and thrusts me into an unknown trajectory.
My emotions can’t keep up. The harness that houses the contents of my being disrupts my sails in exchange for anxiety. "Fear" is at the forefront and the internal tug of war grapples with my rationale.
As God’s word resonates with my confused reasoning, I realize I am not my own. For two days, I have been still and quiet.
I fought hard to tally up past mistakes to reminisce on failures, but I was reminded by a onlooker that my shipwrecked heart was drifting far away from the anchor (God).
Spoken words didn’t offer much comfort though. My heart was not within reach of consolation, sympathy, or words of encouragement.
I continued to grieve for the losses that convinced my head--this was simply not my blooming season!
The enemy’s balm soothed the wound, but it was an eviction notice (in disguise) to God’s plan.
Then I heard, Sarah Jakes Robert say, "The enemy can’t keep what he stole!"
I immediately shook the dust off.
This propensity towards failure, sadness and rejection was an illusion that I bought into.
It was a lie that I convinced myself of each time the harsh winds blew.
However, this was not my crown of ordination. I was not a product of this illusive dream. I was an heir to the throne. Yes, this was my reality!
God’s truth revealed my purpose was not bound by links of depression, anxiety or fear.
Don’t allow the lies to back you in a defeated stance of darkness, living contrary to His promises.
Stand.
In faith.
For His glory.
Live your best life.
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