Monday, September 16, 2019

A Reason to Celebrate

"You don't need a cape to be a hero. You just need to care."--unknown

I wish that I could say that I was this high-strung, energetic extrovert that people swarmed to like honey, but that's simply not true. I'm not the life of the party! You won't catch me at the center of attention. I'd rather play the invisible wall flower.

For many years, my heart had remained safely tucked away in the rural, secluded nest of my biological family tree.

No outside contact, communication, or communion.

Well, until God decided that I was well overdue to test my agoraphobic wings.

Venturing outside the branches of familiarity, took tons of courage, a brave heart, and a leap of faith. I had no idea what was waiting on the other side of my obedience when those Jericho walls collapsed.

What I encountered through the unexpected journey was a model of 64 years of relationship, unconditional love, commitment, teamwork, endurance, resiliency, courage, honor, longevity, and covenant on display.

Who would have known that a year and a half of Tractor Supply runs, doctor's appointments, and Monday Bingo at the Senior Center would became a hallmark of restoration?

Who would have known that initial hesitation could bring about such joy, happiness, and fulfillment?

Who would have known the love awakened by hearing heartfelt, family stories being repeated about the kids' memories?

Who would have known that I would have the honor to sit at a table to celebrate a life that became one of the reasons that I have to smile daily?

A man that helped me find my voice buried beneath so much pain.
A man that welcomed me into his home, his life, and his family.
A man that shared his wife, his wisdom, and his faith.

Some people show up on the front doorstep to drain, pull and take.
Then, there are others who are the givers of life, wells of unspeakable joy,
and then, "everyday" becomes a reason to celebrate their contribution to your well-being.

When I felt displaced by the abrupt storms, this man offered his umbrella of hope for a better tomorrow and a safe place to land without judgment, criticism, or ridicule. This man helped nurture the broken pieces of an emotionally, scarred, attention-deprived mosaic back to life again.
Happy Birthday to A Real Hero






Demoted

On Friday morning, I fired myself from tending to other's responsibilities, inserting my help where my input was not welcomed, and inserting my presence were it had not been appreciated.

I refused to let others push me out the door, while I posted up in the hallway.

My availability, sacrifices, and offering came with an excessive price tag--my peace!

In my extended weekend of "downtime," I realized that I am indeed my grandmother's child. I am a creature of habit that plugs my schedule to fill the gaps, voids, and holes -just like she did. But how many know, that you can be "busy" without being "effective?"

 When God said, "Cast your net on the right side," I insisted on launching out on the left side. I had subconsciously become a habitual felon. My "people pleasing" addiction had resurfaced and caused me to spiral down the repetitive path of recidivism. I continued to "reoffend" God with my disobedience. I had unknowingly made secret idols out of one-sided biological relationships that kept igniting spiritual warfare in the intimate confines of my heart.

However, I refused to hang out in Egypt for another season. The smoke fumes was a clear indication that this was not my lane. It was not my fight! This was not my mission! I no longer belonged here.

I asked God to change my response, regardless of the superficial flesh attacks.
I asked God to detach my spirit from anything that arrested my obedience.
I asked God to heal the wounds of seeking external validation and awaken the warrior within.

I refuse to remain complacent in a battle field that annihilates my peace.
I refuse to saturate myself with gasoline, so that others can use me as mortal combat.
I refuse to lay down in a grave that others have dug.

So, this week, I'm boldly walking out of the chains of opinions,
out of the forest of guilt-laden darkness,
and into the freedom that God grants me.

You can either stay oppressed by the enemies' curses or either you can reap the blessings of the King.

Serve the enemy notice.
Evict the "peace thieves"
and demote the idol relationships accordingly.        




Friday, September 13, 2019

Under the Debris of Darkness

My halo of frustrations has summoned me to the privacy of my prayer closet on today. My energy barometer has succumb to the pressure to perform. My biggest strengths and most challenging weakness flows from the conditions of my heart. I have continuously set myself on fire for the sake of failed rescue missions. Since obviously, God has never instructed me to do that, it's no surprise that I come out of the flames smelling like smoke. 

I've seen the vapors for quite some time.
I inhaled the smoke, but
I ignored the warnings. 

Codependency has been the fallacy of my unbalance. Although I've detached from the root of pessimism, my love language still gets lost in the intricate translation web of enabling others. Essentially, I have over extended myself to the unreceptive. I have climbed mountains and crossed deserts to offer a drink offering to a population who refuses.

In addition, the more I put my gift on public display, I have endured competitive assassination to my spiritual-being. I suffer tremendously for the oil of my revelations and witness it weaved into others' personal narratives, as if it's their original .My creative wings are shocked and repulsed. It doesn't seem fair.

Should I fall from the face of Earth into the seclused nest of isolation?
Should I abort my assignment in mid air suspension?
Should I bury myself under the debris of darkness?

No, I think not. 

I will cast my cares on Him and finish strong.
I will draw into Him without looking around but continuing to look up.
I will pray without ceasing.
I will rest in the comforts of his grace, favor and mercy.
I will trust in Him.
I will surrender to his will.
I will believe by faith.
I will be victorious.

For under the debris of darkness, comes an abundance of liberty, light, and love!





Unfriended

Life happens to the best of us. Things go south. Heated words are exchanged. Conflict arises. Connections dissolve. Flames dwindle. The best intentions are perceived as the biggest attacks. Bonds become barriers. Distance becomes the norm. Facebook become the standard. Friends become strangers.

Disagreements are like our fingerprints--inevitable.

I received an impromptu letter in the mail a few months back that felt like someone poured a mountain of salt in an open, stagnant wound. A place that I once called "home" wrote to inform me that my relationship status had been demoted. In their eyes, I was no longer affiliated by membership, but I moved to the "friendship role." My heart became convinced that my absence had created space for this entity to question my commitment. My self-worth collided with the tears that landed on the blanket of ink that I held in my trembling hands. I kept re-reading it until I couldn't make out the words any longer. My sorrow inadvertently erased the message, cause I could no longer see the print. My tears had drowned out the words, but my spirit was still crushed.

The personal offense reaffirmed underlying rejection. It bought trust issues to the forefront of my temples. The unleashed tension swelled. It felt like I had just been "served" with a summons to fight for my worth. It seemed cowardly. Even though, the letter stated that I would be moved to the "friend zone," I felt personally attacked. I felt "unfriended" altogether.

Did anyone know that I was in the fight of my life?
Did anyone notice that I had been long gone before I received the notice?
Did anyone care that I was imprisoned in a personal crisis?

Are we so busy ministering to the masses that we forget to minister to the assigned flock?
Are we so consumed with executing in excellence that we fail to notice that we aren't being excellent?
Are we cultivating a culture that invites the "hurting" to show up but aren't fully present to serve their needs?

What could've took me out emotionally, God used for my own good.

In a world of habitual, social "unfriending," God used this lesson to challenge my weakness and silence my reaction. Since then, my prayer has been--Lord, change my response!

Sometimes we need to see "the empty seats" like God sees them--flawed but still worthy!

Don't write people off in their wilderness season. Be found faithful on your servanthood post.

Pray.
Cover.
SHOW UP!

Be the REAL CHURCH!
What if "Jesus" sent you notice based on your actions, would he be justified in unfriending you?












Wednesday, September 4, 2019

Making Ripples

"The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few." -Matthew 9:37

As I witnessed the heightened anxiousness about the potential hurricane that may be headed in this direction, I have not been distracted by the media attention, nor have I felt compelled to track the progression of the storm. My eyes have been glued to the mission field of a local, nonprofit team that has tirelessly poured their hearts, time, and resources into multiple outreach initiatives.

 I watched as intercessors, missionaries, evangelists, and prophets rallied around the lost and partnered their faith unselfishly with a massive, underserved population. A population that sometimes become invisible, because the needs are so great and the work is overwhelming. A population that suffers in silence due to national budget cuts.  However...

I have seen miracles manifest expeditiously.
I have seen God multiply the manna (resources).
I have seen faith renewed, hope restored, and dreams made possible.

Even with the day to day struggles/demands of operating a nonprofit, I have watched shifts of volunteers log hours of dedication, commitment, and sow seeds to the glory of God.

On today, I felt a wave of freedom drown hopelessness at the Ripple Effects Empowerment Center. I stood nearby as God transformed an ordinary room into a sanctuary of restoration. I watched Him make ripples with the broken pebbles of an exhausted mother who came into the center expecting to have one need fulfilled, but leaving with so much more. I watched the Executive Director step into the water and help the mother navigate through her personal storm to the shore of Jesus. I watched the mother's folded, closed arms become open to "receive" God's love and compassion through helping hands. I watched her frown turn into a smile of hope. I watched her eyes of disappointment become refilled with fresh faith. I watched her darkness transform into light. I watched her leave much better than she came.

"Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you." Luke 6:38


The Glass Ceiling of Fear

"You can't "prop up" a person that refuses to stand ."-me Recently, I asked one of my " homeboys " to re...